When to Quit.
We have all been brought up with the idea that quitting is a bad thing. We are told over and over that quitters never win and that only sign of real failure is giving up. The problem is that sometimes quitting is the right thing to do. If you are in a toxic relationship, quiting is one of the best things you can do for your own mental health. The same goes for a job.
I am a stubborn, stubborn man. My wife will probably be the first person to tell you. However it was that same stubborn streak that lead to some of the worst moments in my life. The rock-bottom that I hit in 2015 was a direct result of me having a “never quit” mentality about the wrong things.
So how do you know when to quit? When is it that your “grass is always greener” becomes correct?
I would literally take a book out of the domestic abuse guidelines and apply them to your work environment. You do not need to be the direct offspring or sleeping with someone to be the victim of abuse. Employers and managers can be equally abusive. While I am very slow to tell people to quit their job, these are times when you need to get out ASAP for your own well-being.
I found this guide on JoinOneLove.org which is a great tool if you are in an abusive relationship. Give it a read. You can substitute a lot of these same ideas to work relationships. I took the bullet points from this article and applied them to how you may see them in sales jobs. If you start seeing too many of these habits in your management team, you need to get out of that job as soon as you are able to.
No-Space Allowed: in the workplace you see this most often in the area of hyper-micro-management. This shows a distinct lack of trust on your manager’s part.
Irrational Jealousy: While your manager may not exactly feel “jealous” of your work, they make take credit you deserve. If your manager takes more credit than they give, it is a sign you have a bad leader.
Unpredictable Affection: This goes toward unpredictability in general. If your managers have no real guidelines for what is OK from one week to another, that unpredictable environment becomes one where you constantly need to walk on eggshells. Without knowing what is acceptable from day to day, you are just playing the waiting game until you step on a landmine.
Shifting the Blame: Good managers give out all the credit and take all the blame. It is a thankless job. I do not expect all managers to be this selfless, but if you find that they are never willing to accept responsibility, even when it is clearly their fault, it is a sign you are in a toxic workplace.
Put-Downs: If you are being insulted, that is a pretty obvious sign you are not respected. I know this can be the norm in some of the old-boys-club areas, but you know when something is said in jest or not. When things become outright derogatory, it is probably time to get your resume together.
Putting on the Act: You see this happen a lot from bad middle-managers. These are people who talk about how great their team is doing when your see a mutiny brewing. The manager’s ego will not allow them to admit how bad the problem is, and therefore they must pretend to be in control when they are far from it.
Guilt Trip: You see this from managers who cannot let things go. Does you boss bring up the flat tire you had a few months ago as to the reason no one got bonuses? Do they hold you to unrealistic goals and then blame you for not hitting them when you did not have input into the numbers in the first place?
Lies: This goes without saying, but if your manager lies or tells you to behave unethically, it is time to get out. It is never the people at the top of the ladder who go to jail in fraud cases.
Gaslighting: This is the whole “I never said that” when you have it clearly written in three emails and two inter-office memos. Even if you have it written out clear as day, you hear them say “What, did you take that seriously?” It makes you question your reality and doubt your own memory. This is far too common, and if you see it happening be sure to document everything.
I hope that none of these things are happening to you at all, but if they are start putting a resume together. You cannot be successful in sales if you are miserable all the time.